Stardate 20030407.1152

(Captain's log): There's a period when you wake slowly where dreams and reality mix, and you can sometimes see great truths. Or perhaps it's simply a time when you can hallucinate without the use of illicit substances. Regardless, as I was waking this morning and dimly remembered comments by other bloggers about Arab moustaches and apparent Arab curses thereon, I realized what we need in this war.

We need two men. We need them to serve as news reporters. We need Shaquille O'Neal and we need Bill Walton.

We need Walton, with an angry red beard, and we need Shaq, black as the ace of spades with his head shaved and his thin moustache. And we need them both doing stand-up interviews in post-war Baghdad with Arabs there. Shaq stands 7'1" (2.16 m) and weighs 338 lbs (153 kg) and Walton ain't a lot smaller than that. No matter what was actually said by them or the Arabs they interviewed, the image of them as Americans standing beside and towering over the Arabs they interviewed would leave a lasting impression. And both men would put Arab moustaches to shame.

I can think of no better men to symbolize America in the Arab mind; to demonstrate our diversity, our power, our size. Shaq? Bill? Your nation needs you!