Stardate 20030409.1641

(On Screen): Certainly the most colorful and oddest personality to emerge from the war is Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, the Iraqi minister of Information, who has been holding press conferences daily in Baghdad. In just a few days he's become a cult favorite all over the world. Word is that he has not held a press conference today, which is not really too surprising given that our troops now control that part of Baghdad.

It's obvious that al-Sahhaf needs a new job. So let's examine his qualifications:

— Total and unquestioning dedication to the cult of his employer
— Able to deliver even the most blatant lie with a totally straight face
— Completely impervious to criticism and ridicule
— No apparent shame defending absurd claims during press conferences
— A facility for particularly clever epithets and curses against his opponents

It seems to me that he's ideally qualified to become Apple's designated spokesman to claim that the Mac is actually faster and more powerful than any PC, and deny or explain away all evidence and claims to the contrary.