USS Clueless              Voyages of a restless mind

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Stardate 20011124.2156 (On Screen): Somewhere out there is a company which publishes an "official" listing of names for stars, and if you want you can send them money and get a star named for you or someone else. Then, after you've paid for your own personal star, they'll offer to sell you a copy of their registry, so that you can show other people your name in the book. Only problem is that they don't have any official standing, and their book is not used by professional astronomers. All official naming is done by the IAU, and it doesn't accept money for the process. So these "registries" are a scam.

Registrations of URLs are damned near to being the same thing; the only difference being that essentially everyone who runs DNSs obeys the official registries. (Not everyone, though.) But it's also the case that ICANN has a direct official grant of power from certain governments. So that is quasi-legal, and as a result I really do "own" the url denbeste.nu.

But what of online nicknames; handles used in games or in bulletin board systems or online discussion forums? "Wait a minute: why is that guy calling himself TheToad? I am TheToad, the original TheToad, and there can be no other!" (There can be only one!) And so on; it's a totally bogus idea. But never let it be said that someone will pass up an opportunity to take money from others who have more money than brains.

Some people got together and started an organization with the pompous title International Internet Username Registration Organization. If they've got any kind of charter from anyone I sure see no evidence of it. It's really little more than an advocacy group with a big name. But somehow or other, a for-profit company has gotten blessed by the IIURO and has started an "official" registration for handles. And now you, too, can get LIFETIME!!! exclusive rights to your very own Nick Name for the low, low price of just $5.99 -- but only if you're the first one to register for it, so line up now and toss your money down this rathole, because you may never get another chance.

Legally Own Your NikName/Username: Once you have been accepted as a member of I.I.U.R.O, you will be the only person to have the right to use your NikName™, followed by the trademarked NIK, on the Internet.

Sez who? I see no indication that these guys have any more right to run this register than I would. They're sanctioned by the IIURO, but the IIURO is a vapor organization with no legal charter. How exactly does this legally become yours? Will the courts enforce it? Fat chance. (discuss)

Wait a minute -- this sounds just like "Passport". Hmmm....