Stardate 20011108.2100 (On Screen): And today's triumph of marketing is... (wait for it) escape parachutes for people who work in high-rise buildings. Yes, folks, with one of these babies you need never worry about stray jets again. Just strap it on your back and head for the nearest window -- out you go, and you can float safely down to the street.
Until, that is, someone else jumps out above you and lands on your 'chute and deflates it before theirs opens, resulting in the death of you both. And you better hope that your building actually has windows big enough for you to jump out of, which hardly any of them do as a safety measure to keep people from falling out accidentally. And there's a limit of ten of these per building -- so you better get yours first. After all, if a thousand people try to do this at once out of the same building, no-one's going to make it to the street alive. Just $795 -- call that number on your TV screen NOW!!! (discussion in progress)
