USS Clueless              Voyages of a restless mind

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Stardate 20011027.1356 (On Screen): You know, one fixture of Taliban propaganda (and some of the unrest elsewhere in the Muslim world) has been claims that this is some sort of fight to the finish between Islam and Christianity. They better hope that the US doesn't decide that, because if we were really angry, and really vengeful, and really the monsters that they're portraying us to be, then Islam would be gone in about two weeks.

The Trident submarine is the most advanced attack platform ever built. It is nuclear powered, and when an Ohio-class submarine leaves on patrol it submerges shortly after leaving port and never comes to the surface again until shortly before returning to port. Each submarine has two crews which alternate; the boat spends a short time (a couple of weeks) in port after each patrol having maintenance done, and then the second crew goes to sea. The limit on patrol length turns out to be the crew; the boat itself is capable of staying at sea for two years, and it can carry enough supplies for much longer than two months. But under normal circumstances, crew dissatisfaction (and retention rates) drop precipitously when the patrols are longer. But that's in peacetime; in time of war, a Trident can stay at sea much longer than two months if need be, if the crew is willing to live on less satisfactory food.

Trident subs carry 24 Trident II D-5 missiles, each of which carries 8 warheads with an explosive yield of 300-450 kilotons. The warheads are "independently targetable" but only within certain limits; all the targets have to be within a certain distance of each other (exact distance classified, but on the order of 400 kilometers). Fortunately (?) most potential targets of such an attack tend to have worthwhile targets clustered that way, so few warheads would go to waste.

If the US really had blood in its eye, and was really "fighting a war against Islam," Islam wouldn't last very long. One Trident is capable of killing the majority of people in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran and Iraq. One would suffice to eliminate Indonesia, Bangladesh, Malaysia, and all the other Muslim nations of SE Asia. One could take out Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria and Egypt. The fourth could take out Libya, Algeria and all the other Muslim nations of Africa. They might even have missiles left over, and that would leave 14 other Tridents for reserve and followup attacks -- not to mention all the other nuclear munitions we have, such as ones which can be carried by Tomahawk cruise missiles.

This won't happen, of course. There isn't any way that the US would do such a thing. Even if a US city were nuked, we would not go to such great lengths. But we could; and people who are accusing us of being mad dogs had better realize just how much restraint we've actually shown so far. Y'all wouldn't like it if we were really angry. (discuss)