USS Clueless - Old Maid
     
     
 

Stardate 20020519.1006

(On Screen): Europe's game of "Old Maid" is reported to have finally ended. Intensive negotiations into who, exactly, is going to host those 13 Palestinians who are cooling their heels in a luxury hotel in Cyprus appears to have yielded results.

There's evidence that a lot of diplomats were volunteering nations as hosts – other nations, not their own. One report from a Spanish diplomat said that one of them would go to Finland, but when the Finnish foreign ministry vigorously denied the report ("Like hell he's coming here!") that Spanish diplomat then hurriedly corrected it and said that it was actually Belgium who would take that particular terroristmilitant, much to Belgium's surprise.

Reports are that part of the problem wasn't just numbers but names. It wasn't just how many each nation would take, but which ones. It dawned on them that these guys are really nasty and dangerous men and that certain of them are particularly vicious. No-one in their right mind invites a rabid wolf to come live in their house.

The key breakthrough is reportedly that one of them (presumably the worst of the lot) is going to stay in Cyprus. Reports on this are mixed; one report has it that the Cypriot foreign minister knew nothing of it. However, a different report says:

Officials said the breakthrough came when Greece agreed to take two militants and Cyprus one. Spanish officials thanked Cyprus, which is hoping to join the EU in 2004, for its cooperation.

Reading between the lines, I see a case where none of the European nations was willing to take that last guy. (It will be interesting to find out which one it is.) Finally, someone said, "Let him stay in Cyprus." When the Cypriot government objected, what they got told was, "Play along, or it will go badly for you when you submit your application for membership to the EU." Thanked for its cooperation is one of those diplomatic double-speak terms; it often hints at serious coercion. I think that the Europeans made Cyprus an offer it could not refuse.

This is not one of the EU's finest diplomatic achievements. There is no excuse for them to shaft Cyprus like this.

I suspect the only reason that the European diplomats didn't magnanimously offer the US as a destination for one or more of them is that they knew our only response would have been raucous laughter..

Update 20020520: Evidently the deal isn't actually finalized.

Update: The Spanish Foreign Minister is still claiming that Cyprus has agreed to keep one of them.


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