Stardate 20030621.1434

(On Screen via long range sensors): So there I was, minding my own business visiting the Samizdata site, when who should I see but Lara Croft standing there. Those Brits know their strengths, that's for sure. Who have we Yanks got that's of such mythic proportions (ahem)? Well, there's Racquel Welch, for one...

We got Duke Nukem, if they ever finish the damned game. But my tastes run more to Lara than to Duke, if I want to look at someone. (Even though Duke could easily wipe Lara out if she got in his way, assuming he was able to keep his mind off of business...)

Only we don't, because they won't finish the damned game. Yeesh. But Lara's coming soon to a glowing screen near you, in yet another epic: Angel of Darkness. And it looks as if they've redone the game engine. It's about damned time.

I actually bought the first game and I even played it for about 20 minutes. But I'm not a big one for twitch-games, and the graphics really sucked. I guess they had to when they were running on a 50-MHz 486DX, but they really did not look good. Living things do not have flat facets. It looked like Bizarro-world.

Anyhoo, I started looking through the screen shots from the game, and they have massively improved the game engine. Curved objects, like Lara's ...um... arms, are actually curved now.

They've also included cool lighting effects, which they evidently use to good effect when Lara invades a disco:

But as I was looking through the screen shots, I started getting a feeling of having been here before. I've fought in those places; back when I served in XCOM! Man, I remember this garden in the alien bases. Scary damned places, alien bases are. I was terrified the first time I tried to attack one.

It looks like Lara's been recruited by XCOM to fight against the alien invasion by infiltrating an alien base. Sectoids, by the look of 'em. XCOM could have done worse, to be sure, but you'd think that they could have come up with a couple of plasma pistols for her. (Regular pistols just don't have enough punch when you're fighting aliens. Believe me, I know.)

And then I got to this screenshot, and had a wait-a-minute reaction:

They may have improved the graphics, but I see they're still recruiting their guards through Acme Security. Let's see if I've got this straight: Lara is hiding behind a mesh wall, and the guards haven't noticed her.

They don't seem to be saying, "Hey, look at that bodacious redhead with the big ...um... guns standing over there. Let's go talk her up and see if she's free on Saturday night!"

Space aliens have never been good at hiring help.