Stardate 20030516.0119

(On Screen): It used to be said that patriotism was the last refuge of a scoundrel. Of course, there are a lot of such refuges, and patriotism is out of fashion now in a lot of circles anyway. These days, the last refuge of international scoundrels is to claim to be a victim.

Saddam surely played the victim card as much as he possibly could in his last year in power; big bad America trying to beat up on poor little harmless Saddam who wouldn't hurt a flea.

For all the good it did him.

Of course, there are a lot of other scoundrels out there. At least some of them are being honest about it. In the run up to UN debate over lifting the sanctions against Iraq, the Russians have made clear that they won't play unless they're paid off.

Russia "proceeds from the assumption that all approved contracts must be fulfilled or compensated in an appropriate way," Fedotov said at a conference on the effect of the war in Iraq, which Moscow vehemently opposed, on Russia's economy.

Anticipating tough Security Council negotiations on the U.S. proposal, Fedotov said Russia's task is to "bring to a minimum our economic losses and political losses from this resolution, and at the same time create a basis for the continuation of Russian-Iraqi cooperation in the new situation."

Of course, if they include those sweetheart oil deals among what Fedotov refers to as "approved contracts" then this is an impressive demand indeed. Nonetheless, it's refreshingly honest. Compared, for instance, to France.

Which has just played the victim card. (Imagine our joy.)

France, of course, is our closest ally, utterly steadfast and loyal. They stand with us in all things; we can trust them utterly. And yet, those mean American neocons are engaging in a campaign of outright slander to try to convince everyday Americans that France might actually be something other than a true-blue, loyal-to-the-core, friend and ally.

It's outrageous, and they want it to stop. So they've protested directly to the White House; they've delivered a formal letter about the subject. And their embassy personnel are going to start monitoring the news to look for anti-French disinformation.

"We don't know who talked to journalists," she said, "but we would like it to stop, because it's inaccurate and it discredits our country." The impression given, she said, was that France had "protected a tyrant and a bloody dictator" and was "hostile to the United States."

Maybe the reason a lot of us have that impression is because France is hostile to the US and did try to protect a bloody, dictatorial tyrant. Wasn't it the French President himself who bluntly announced that France would veto any UN resolution which actually authorized war against Iraq? And wasn't it French policy all along that the "world's" policy towards Iraq should concentrate on disarmament and specifically eschew "regime change"?

The administration's frustration with France has had a clear, and sometimes troubling, public echo. Web sites, conservative columnists and late-night television hosts have mercilessly mocked the French.

You betcha. And though there's a concerted effort going on now in Europe to roll back freedom of expression, here in the US we still got it.

If I want to say that the French are decadent, treacherous, lying weasels, here in America I actually have a right to do so. And you know what? The White House can't do anything about it, even if it were inclined to try. And I can't be extradited to Europe to stand trial for Xenophobia.

If France is a victim, then it's a victim of its own delusions of grandeur and its own lack of honor. If the government of France truly thinks that it can paint over the events of the last year and try to pretend they never happened, then we will have to augment that description: The French are decadent, treacherous and incredibly stupid lying weasels.