Stardate 20030218.1835

(Captain's log): The EU held a successful emergency meeting yesterday to hammer out a common foreign policy position. Diplomacy is always successful, of course. The meeting was called by Greece, which currently holds the rotating EU Presidency. And it was very successful, naturally.

"We had extensive, very effective and constructive consultations and we have reached an agreement" on the EU summit declaration, said Greek Prime Minister Costas Simitis.

He forgot to mention that there was "a frank exchange of ideas", which is diplo-speak for raised voices.

Actually, the text which was approved was appropriately wishy-washy; incrementally more determined but still ambiguous. It bears all the hallmarks of any document which is ever prepared by a committee and which must please every member. So it affirms the primacy of the UNSC, says that war is a last resort, affirms that peaceful means are always better, states that more time is needed for inspections, and then demands that Saddam stop fucking around and actually cooperate. It states that this is his last chance.

It says that the European nations really like Arabs, really like Turkey, really really like the Palestinians, don't hate the US, and really wish everyone could just get along.

Having said that this is Saddam's "final chance" it doesn't bother saying how long this final chance will last. And there's a token gesture of appreciation to the US for the fact that our military buildup in the region has contributed to a new willingness by Saddam to cooperate.

On the face of it, it's really hard to see why anyone would be upset. But reports are that the real conversation between the heads of state was not quite so gentle. And apparently Chirac was on the receiving end of most of it.

It's not clear where The Herald got its story; all comparable reports seem derived from this one. But no one had denied it. Reportedly, Chirac stood up and made an impassioned speech about how he opposes war because of all the Iraqis who will die if we attack. War is a bad thing; it has to be resisted at all cost.

Nobody bought it. And Chirac walked out of the meeting last night, seething over the fact that most of the people there were pro-American and pro-war (or at least, not infinitely anti-war), and proceeded to commit a gaffe of breathtaking proportions.

During impromptu press questioning, he blasted the eastern European nations (the so-called Vilnius group) for their letter which supported the position of the "Gang of 8".

The situation is dripping with irony. After months of rhetoric where Chirac accused the US of "unilateralism", Chirac now appears to be the one who is unilateral. With 19 members of the NATO council, 16 voted in favor of sending defensive units to Turkey and only three voted against, vetoing the initiative. And when the issue was moved to a different venue, where the other 18 also participate but where France is not a member, more or less the same initiative passed (because Germany and Belgium did not resist it). Equally, it now seems as if a large number of current members of the EU, and an overwhelming percentage of candidates, don't see the US as the Great Satan and do seem to think that inspections lasting essentially forever are not acceptable. Which makes France's threatened veto of any upcoming UNSC resolution authorizing war look increasingly like unilateral French action which will not be taken after consultation with its neighbors. Chirac has become what he accused Bush of being.

And then Chirac proceeded to act more cowboy than the Cowboy – or rather, more bull-in-the-china-shop. When asked about the Vilnius group, Chirac replied:

I think they have behaved with a certain frivolity, because entering the EU requires a modicum of consideration for the others, a modicum of consultation. If on encountering the first difficulty, we start asserting our own view without regard for others that are part of the integrated whole that we wish to join, then it is irresponsible behavior, not well brought-up. In conclusion, I think the candidates have missed a good occasion to keep silent.

He also reportedly referred to them as being "childish" (some reports translate it as "infantile") and "dangerous", and said that the members of the Vilnius group were damaging their chances of being accepted into the EU by disagreeing "with the EU".

Which is equally ironic, since it exposed Chirac's clear belief that the EU is or should be at its core Franco-German and anti-American. It is his "L'Europe c'est moi" act writ large, and apparently the other leaders of Europe are fed up with it. For most of the last year, Chirac has pontificated ex cathedra as if he was the voice of Europe, and they're tired of it.

When he was asked about the other current members of the EU who also disagree with him, his response was that "When you are in the family, you have more rights than when you are asking to join and knocking on the door." And by so do