The Erbosoft Project Code of Conduct (Revised January 2016)
The following “code of conduct” will be applied to any and all projects I create and accept outside contributors to:
- I, Erbo, own this project. Not you. My decisions about any aspect of the project are final.
- This Code of Conduct contains harsh language. Tough shit. Suck it up, Buttercup.
- Anyone who is an asshole is banned from this project. Permanently.
- This project has certain objectives. Anything outside of those objectives is irrelevant, unless and until I change the objectives. Not you. In particular, if you’re a Social Justice Warrior trying to join this project to spread your bullshit, you are automatically declared an asshole. And you’re gone.
- I reserve the right to change this Code of Conduct as I see fit. If, however, you try to force me to change it in ways that are offensive to me, or that try to advance “social justice” ideals in any way, shape, or form, you’re an asshole. And you’re gone.
- In particular, this project explicitly rejects the “Open Code of Conduct” by the TODO Group, the “Contributor Code of Merit” by Coraline Ada Ehmke, the “Citizen Code of Conduct” by Stumptown Syndicate, and any similar “codes of conduct” that may be promulgated. Anyone complaining about this is an asshole, because who the fuck are you to tell me how I should run my goddamn project? And you’re gone.
- The one and only criterion that will be used to determine whether a contribution to this project will be accepted is the quality of the contribution and how well it solves the problem it was contributed to solve. Period. (“Contribution” may include code, documentation, testing, or fundraising.)
- The one and only criterion that will be used to judge your worth in relation to this project is the quality of your contributions (as defined above) to this project. Period.
- I do not give one milli-micro-nano-fraction of a fuck what race you are, what gender you are or identify as, who you want to sleep with, how old you are, what your height or weight is, what if anything may be different about your body or brain, what language you speak, what country you’re from, what God you pray to, where you work, how much money you have, et fucking cetera. Is your contribution any good? That’s all that matters.
- If your contribution is not accepted, and you start whining about how it’s “actually” because you’re of some-or-other gender/race/religion/nationality/whatthefuckever, you are attempting to have the deck stacked in your favor because you’re “special.” That makes you an asshole. And you’re gone.
- Only those people who have contributed a sufficient quantity of good work to the project, as determined in my sole discretion, will be allowed to assume any board position, administrative position, or management-related role. And, any position I give, I can also take away, for any reason. Anyone who complains about this is an asshole. And they’re gone.
- You will do your own work. If you try to pass off the work of others as your own, you’re a fucking plagiarist, and also an asshole. And you’re gone.
- If there’s a discussion that cannot be resolved within the scope of the project, take that shit somewhere else. I don’t want your bullshit here. If you continue to spread your bullshit here, you’re an asshole. And you’re gone.
- As noted above, my decisions about any aspect of the project are final. Anyone pissing me off by getting all up in my face about said decisions is an asshole. And they’re gone.
- Any advisory boards, committees, etc., having to do with this project will answer to me. I reserve the right to disband any such whenever the hell I feel like it. As always, anyone complaining about this is an asshole. And they’re gone.
- Anyone who does not approve of the objectives, direction, or attitude of this project is free to get the fuck out at any time. Bye Felicia!